Monday May 3, 2010

Ok, so I slept all day on Monday May 3rd because I had worked a 12 hour shift the night before. It was a good night. I did not sleep in my bed, I slept in the bonus room on the couch, and I must say, I slept well. I must of know I would need it with the news that was about to hit me.

I slept until 2:35 pm and at 2:36pm, my cell phone rang. ( Apparently my home phone was off the hook.) "Kathryn please." I answered. "Kathryn, this is the Dr. Office calling and I'm afraid it's not good news. You have cancer in your breast." Devastated, panicked, crying, getting sick to my stomach. I had all of these emotions and shaking like a leaf was an understatement!

Of course, I need to make an appt. to speak with the Dr. and find out my "options" and how bad it all was. Anyone who knows me will understand the following; I told the girl over the phone that if she didn't get me in the next morning, that I was showing up that day, whether they liked it or not. She put me on hold and when she came back, I had an appt. for the very next morning at 7am.

Of course, I immediately called Paul. He had to calm me down because all of my fears were now a reality of what I knew could be! I was fearful because I had been to several, and I mean several doctors who all thought I was NUTS! I felt like Elaine Bennis from Seinfeld where the Dr.s wrote about me in there charts and then passed them around to confirm they all had the same crazy experience with me. I had CT scans, MRI's and blood work, exams and they all came back negative; but I still felt a funny feeling under my right armpit, especially around that time of the month.

Well, I hardly slept that day. I waited until Curtis and Rachel came home from school and told them. Of course they cried and felt terrible and I felt terrible for telling them. They both agreed I should call Brad at Purdue, so I did. It was difficult but it needed to be done because I didn't want him to hear it from anyone else but me.

So, I sat on my basketball court in disbelief for about two hours and then got up and wandered around the house like a zombie. I went over everything in my head from the past months and tried to find out when they missed something, and I was literally driving myself crazy! Time for bed, sleepy head.