Thursday May 13th 2010

I have so much to do today. It is going to be crazy. I need to get all of this laundry done and my boys are going to help me with it!!! I am also going to lunch with some very dear friends and co-workers today. I hope I am hungry today, because lately I havent been. I did wake up feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed, a good nights rest will do that for you.

Yesterday, after getting home from running kids and planting flowers and winding down, there was a knock at my back door. Of course, I had to yell for the kids to get my dogs because I didn't know who it was and they were very excited to jump on this person the minute I open the door. So Paul actually came to my rescue.
I opened the door and it was a neighbor of mine ,who oddly enough, just had a bilateral mastectomy and tissue expanders in place. She wanted to check up on me and play a little show and tell. I didn't think I would be up for it, but before you know it, we were in my bathroom, checking out the new and improved girls! They looked great. It helped me out tremendously for about a minute, and then she said the "L" word. Lymph nodes. I've got to tell you, I am more freaked out about my lymph node dissection than anything else. "Well just hope they are negative!" This is what everyone is saying to me. Well, what if they are not? I mean, it could happen. I might have to have chemo. This scares the shit out of me; not the chemo, the fact that it is so far outside of my breast tissue........ewwww!
I say goodbye, and then go and grab a beer ( I would have grabbed drugs if I had any!) and go and sit on the porch. Paul is worried and concerned. He tries to cheer me up. He gives me words of encouragement and I feel a little better. I just can't think that way, stay positive Kathy, stay positive.